Vicious Cycle – A "Logan" review

Logan is the third solo film in the long-running X-Men franchise to focus on the character of Wolverine, although some might argue all the X-Men films are focused on Wolverine to some extent or another. 

"What, you thought they were about Cyclops?" 

That being said, this film is deliberately set up to be the "final" Wolverine story––a broken, aging warrior's last chance to make a difference. 

Before we proceed any further, though, I must warn you that there will be 

***SPOILERS***

ahead, as this is a full review, as well as a general overview of my reaction to the film. 

Hugh Jackman, who has played Wolverine for 17 years now, has claimed this is his final performance as Wolverine; it certainly feels like a final send-off, just as it is for Patrick Stewart's Professor Charles Xavier (although Stewart has expressed interest in reprising his role on the television series Legion, which would be fantastic). This is depressing for a number of reasons, first and foremost that at 48 Jackman finally looks like the gruff, rugged Wolverine from the comics instead of a lean, fresh-faced guy with similar hair. But, alas, all good things must come to an end, and Jackman has expressed interest in renewing his relationship with pasta now that his days of staying in peak physical form are past, which no one could truly judge him for. Although I'd still wager he could be coaxed out of retirement for one (or two, or five) subsequent appearances as Wolverine (get on that, Ryan Reynolds!), going forward we shall assume that Logan does indeed mark the final appearance of Jackman as Wolverine. 

This doesn't count as a cameo. 

The basic plot is this: in the year 2029, mutants––who were once prolific––have now essentially died out. There haven't been any new mutant births in years, and many of those that remain are suffering from diminished powers. James Howlett, a.k.a. Logan, a.k.a. Wolverine, falls into the latter category. His healing factor, which has sustained him for almost 200 years and allowed him to regenerate from many a mortal wound, is burning out, and as a result the unbreakable adamantium––the toxic metal that has been bonded to his bones––is starting to take a physical toll. He's going to die ... it's just a matter of when. And just in case the pain of living becomes more than he can bear, Logan has started carrying around an adamantium bullet, the only thing that can pierce his skull. 

Logan works as a limo driver along the Mexican border, supporting his heavy drinking habit as well as buying meds for the 90-year-old Xavier, the once-brilliant and powerful telepathic leader of the X-Men, who now wastes away from a neurological disorder that causes both severe dementia and seizures. Unfortunately, even though Xavier's powers aren't what they used to be, they're more dangerous than ever, because his seizures cause him to involuntarily lash out, causing extreme mental trauma. Logan's healing factor helps him to withstand Xavier's unintentional attacks, but it's still rough on him, and he knows before long he's going to have to get Xavier away from civilization. To that end, he's saving up to buy a yacht, so he and Xavier can live out the rest of their days in peace and relative comfort. But, yet again, he gets dragged into violent circumstances he can't walk away from. 

Helping Logan to care for Xavier is Caliban (Stephen Merchant), an albino who has the ability to track other mutants. A much younger Caliban appeared in X-Men: Apocalypse as well, although this version is wiser, kinder and less pretentious. Because he can't handle direct sunlight, Caliban knows he can't join Logan and Xavier when they leave, but he's content to help out while he can. 

While also working on his Darkman cosplay. 

While carting around various clients, Logan is approached by a Mexican nurse (Elizabeth Rodriguez) who pleads for his help. Logan refuses, and as she furiously drives away, he spots a young girl (Dafne Keen) glaring at him through the back hatch of the vehicle. Logan thinks nothing of it, but soon he runs afoul of Donald Pierce (Boyd Holbrook), a smarmy southern charmer with a cyborg hand who is sniffing around for the nurse and her precious cargo. Realizing he's stumbled into a dangerous situation, Logan is again hesitant when nurse approaches him again, pleading for his aid in getting the girl across-country to the Canadian border, but he relents when she offers him $20,000 up-front and the promise of another $30,000 at the end of the journey. $50,000 will buy a lot of booze, a lot of pills ... or maybe even a lot of boat. He goes to let Caliban know he'll be gone for a few days, but when he returns to pick up the nurse and the girl, he finds the nurse dead and the girl is nowhere to be found. He returns to Caliban and Xavier, thinking there's nothing more he can do, but Pierce follows him back, and soon Logan realizes he's in over his head ... and there's more to the girl, Laura (who has stowed away in the trunk of his limo) than meets the eye. 

A LOT more.

Yep, li'l Laura has adamantium claws of her own, but that's not all: she's a female clone of Logan himself––essentially his daughter. In a message left on the nurse's phone, Logan learns that Laura, a.k.a. X-23, is one of several children genetically engineered by mad scientist Zander Rice (Richard E. Grant, who played the icy Dr. Simeon on Doctor Who) to be child soldiers. The children, however, developed empathy and refused to become monsters, so Rice declared the useless and ordered them to be exterminated. The nurse, with others, tried to help the children escape, with the promise of meeting up later at the border, where they could cross into Canada and be safe. Logan, perennial loner that he is, isn't all that eager to trade in his booze and limo for juice boxes and a minivan. He's gruff toward the feral, mute Laura, even though he does decide to help her with Xavier in tow. Unfortunately, Caliban gets captured by Pierce, who uses him to track his prey. What follows is a whirlwind adventure with a lot of F-bombs (many of which are lobbed between Logan and Xavier) and bloodshed, much of which comes in the form of collateral damage. 

There is a particularly heartbreaking scene where, while on the road traveling through Oklahoma, Xavier convinces Logan to stop and help a farmer (Eriq La Salle) and his family rescue their horses, which have gotten out of their trailer and are running onto the highway. Logan grudgingly does so, and the farmer invites them to his house for dinner. Logan says "no"; Xavier insists. So, against Logan's better judgement, they sit down for a home-cooked meal and ultimately agree to stay the night, and for the first time in a long time, they're at peace. They're happy. They're almost a family. And then, of course, the crap hits the fan. 

I'm not going to sugarcoat this, although I am going to––once more––warn you that there are 

***SPOILERS***

ahead. Got it? Because I'm going there. 

Pierce and company manage to track Logan to the farmhouse, but they don't do anything. They just wait. And they release Rice's newest weapon, X-24. 

Logan and the farmer run afoul of some local redneck thugs working for the owner of the adjoining farm while trying to fix the water pump that serves both properties. The adjoining farm is part of a huge corn operation that produces genetically modified corn for the production of corn syrup. This seems like a throwaway detail, but it is ultimately a very important one. Logan runs the thugs off, and they head back to the house. Meanwhile, Xavier is in bed as Logan enters the room, and Xavier reminisces on the events that led to the downfall of the X-Men. Some time ago, when Xavier's mind first started going on the decline, he suffered a horrible seizure at the X-Mansion that injured 600 and killed several X-Men. We don't know who died, exactly, though it's probably a safe bet that any other telepaths (*cough* Jean *cough*) got iced, otherwise they would be around to try and heal or at least help Xavier. Since developing dementia, Xavier's memory of "the Westchester incident" has been spotty at best, and he sadly comments that even though this has been the best night he can remember since then, he doesn't deserve it. Logan steps forth out of the shadows, places a hand on Xavier's chest ... and pops his claws. 

^ Literally everyone in the theater at that exact moment.

Now, before y'all start thinking Logan got triggered by the awful memory and snapped, let's get something straight: it's NOT ACTUALLY LOGAN. It's X-24, a "perfect" soldier clone of Wolverine unencumbered by silly things like morals, friendship, empathy, etc. X-24 proceeds to massacre the farmer's entire family, and then also slices through the thugs (who have returned to drink beer and kick butt, and they're fresh out of beer). Logan tries to fight him off, but he's completely outclassed (and, by the way, X-24 acts as evidence that Jackman COULD indeed still play Wolverine in his prime ... just sayin'). Fortunately, the mortally wounded farmer manages to smash X-24 into a combine harvester with his truck, and then proceeds to empty a shotgun into his oh-so-handsome Hugh Jackmany face. He then turns toward Logan, aiming the gun at the man who brought death and ruin to his house, and Logan just stands there, knowing he deserves it and hoping that maybe––just maybe––there will be an end to his pain and torment. But the gun is empty, and the farmer falls dead. 

Meanwhile, Caliban makes the sacrifice play, grabbing a pair of grenades and blowing up himself and the surveillance van ... unfortunately, Pierce escapes more or less unharmed. Logan and Laura continue their journey, but Laura accidentally leaves behind a photo with the coordinates of their rendezvous point on the back, and Pierce uses it to track them now that Caliban is dead. 

They reach their destination, and sure enough––the other kids made it. Logan is on his last legs, and the kids give him a mutant growth hormone serum they swiped from the lab that will temporarily restore his powers ... just enough, in small, gradual doses, to keep him alive a bit longer. Laura asks him to join them, and Logan declines, saying everyone he cares about dies. Laura indignantly replies that she'll be fine, then, and Logan passes out. The next morning, the kiddos are on their way, but Logan sees Pierce's cybernetic goons, the Reavers, heading to intercept them. He quaffs the entire vial of serum and, like Popeye on spinach or John Belushi on cocaine, goes into a final berserker rage, chopping and slicing through Reaver after Reaver. 

The kids are no slouches themselves, mind you. One of them dismembers a Reaver with her ice breath; another, Rictor (Jayson Genao), can shake and shape the earth itself. But eventually the kids get subdued, and Logan has to approach Pierce and Rice head-on while Laura tries to free her friends. Rice reveals that his father was one of Logan's victims when he first clawed his way out of the Weapon X facility some 45 years prior, and he is also the one behind the decline in mutant births, heavily implying the mutant gene-suppressing formula was spread via the genetically modified corn syrup. 

Darn you, Coca-Cola NOT-SO-CLASSIC.
DARN YOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!

Logan responds by shooting Rice in the face and blowing Pierce's cybernetic hand off (he's not one for gunplay, but by golly, these be desperate times!). Unfortunately, he's too late to stop X-24 from being released. Logan yells for the kids to run, and they do ... after working together to finish off Pierce. Laura tries to help Logan fight X-24, but he's simply too powerful, and Logan's serum is wearing off. X-24 hefts Logan up and brutally impales him on an exposed tree root, but Laura blows the top of his fool head off with the adamantium bullet. Dying, Logan begs her not to let her origins define her, and she embraces him as her father before he breathes his last. 

Yes, they freaking KILLED OFF WOLVERINE. They actually went there. 

Laura and the kids bury him, and as the others run off into the wilderness, Laura pulls up the makeshift cross and places it askew, forming an "X," before joining her friends. 

Y'know, a lot of people cried after watching Logan. I didn't. There were a few moments when I felt my tear ducts starting to open up, but the tears never came. The abruptness of the ending ... of Logan's death ... left me numb, and I'm honestly still processing what I watched even now. All I know for sure is it's a beautiful film, rife with all the blood and gore you could want from a gritty, realistic take on Wolverine. The cinematography is gorgeous, the action is well-paced and the acting is spot-on.

Jackman really pulls out all the stops to portray this weathered, weary Logan. He might not look old-as-dirt, but he feels it. He is tired of the violence (which nonetheless has not grown tired of him), he is tired of the pain and he is tired of the loss. His claws don't pop like they used to and his scars don't heal. And there is such a beautiful, tragic, father-son relationship between Logan and Xavier that is difficult to watch at times because it feels so authentic. He and Xavier have been through so much together, but there is resentment on both sides––from Logan for all that Xavier has cost him and the strain of taking care of him, and from Xavier for the feeling of being trapped in his own body, and of being essentially held prisoner to keep him from accidentally harming others. They bicker and cast verbal barbs at each other that cut deep as only family can cut one another, yet there is still love there––dysfunctional, grudging love. They are both very old and very tired, and Stewart very effectively channels the encouraging teacher, the stern father and the hotheaded young man he once was, while also conveying the sense that he is old and broken, and completely bewildered by that fact. 

This is Professor-freaking-X, and he's been reduced to a sad,
sick, lonely old man in a wheelchair. Who can melt your
brain with his mind if he's having a bad day. 

Merchant, too, is excellent as Caliban, as is Grant as the cold, cruel Rice, but it is Keen who steals the show. She is vicious and impulsive, but she is also a lonely, vulnerable child who wants her father but is too hardheaded to reach out to him, just as Logan is too hardheaded to reach out to her. And her fight scenes are nothing short of incredible. Because only her claws (two in each hand, one in each foot) are the only parts of her coated in adamantium, she has an otherwise normal skeleton, allowing her to launch herself at enemies in ways Logan can't (as he weighs roughly 300 pounds with his metal skeleton). She's a cross between a deranged kitten and a Ninja blender, and it's a blood-soaked joy to see her in action. 

Early on, director James Mangold makes it clear the film is supposed to play out like a Western. This is entirely unsurprising, as Mangold also directed the superb remake of 3:10 to Yuma, which shared many of the tragic themes as Logan, such as dysfunctional father-child relationships and unfair collateral damage. But the plot becomes a bit on-the-nose when Xavier and young Laura are chilling in a hotel room watching the Western classic Shane together. If you've seen Shane, the plot from that point onward becomes very familiar. Indeed, the last words Laura speaks over Logan's grave are the closing lines from Shane, where Shane comforts the little boy before bidding him a final farewell. But this time, the wounded hero doesn't ride off into the sunset. 

Where does this leave the X-Men franchise? Well, for starters, I don't think there will be another movie to take place after Logan. Yes, I would love to watch an X-23 film, because Keen absolutely nails the role, but after such a grim finale, it would probably be best to let the timeline end riiiiiight there. What's especially saddening about this film is that "the Westchester incident" takes place not too long after the happy ending of X-Men: Days of Future Past, so even though Logan was able to save the X-Men from one apocalyptic future, they were nonetheless wiped out by another enemy even more pernicious and sneaky than the Sentinels: high-fructose corn syrup. 

Seriously, Coke, you can eff right the heck off. 

But there is a ray of sunshine, and his name is Cable, the time-traveling son of Cyclops and not-Jean Grey. Cable's jam is fixing catastrophic timelines, and I'm sincerely hoping his mission in Deadpool 2 is to prevent the Westchester incident. It would also be a perfect way to rope Patrick Stewart in one more time––think about it: Cable knows something horrible happens that destroys the X-Men, paving the way for a resurrected Apocalypse to take over the world (or something––maybe in the film timeline it'll be Mr. Sinister or the Shadow King). So he decides to nip it in the bud by going back to before the Westchester incident to assassinate Professor X. He runs afoul of Deadpool along the way, who convinces him that Xavier is a cool dude, and then they find the real enemy, Mr. Sinister (whose Essex Corporation provided Rice with all his mutant DNA samples) and stop him before he and Rice can unleash the unspeakable evil of cheaply-produced corn upon the world––saving the X-Men, saving the potential mutants and even saving Wolverine from a really depressing movie. Shoot, Cable could even bring young Laura back in time with him, allowing her to interact with the current-day (or even the '80s-'90s) X-Men. 

It really can fix anything. 

Or maybe Deadpool 2, and the X-Men franchise as a whole, will go off in a completely different direction. Or maybe Logan is considered to be a non-canon, one-off film altogether. Either way, even though it's a really good movie, it's nonetheless the kind of movie that leaves you feeling all manner of feels afterward, not all of them good. I would still argue that X2: X-Men United is the best film in the X-Men franchise, closely followed by the verrrrrrrry polarizing X-Men: Apocalypse, but Logan is right up there with them. In a lot of ways, it's a lot like Sam Mendes' adaptation of The Road to Perdition, or the smash hit video game The Last of Us. You care deeply about the characters, knowing full well it's not going to end well for any of them, and even though the journey is beautifully presented, you are still left uneasy by the resolution. It's good––very good––but it hurts to watch. 

Final score: 4.5/5 

The most dead-on casting in superhero films

Some superhero movies do a great job of bringing comic book characters to the big screen, capturing the essence of what made the original versions special. Good examples of this include, for instance, Henry Cavill in this year's Man of Steel, or Chris Evans in Captain America. Sometimes, though, you get George Clooney as Batman or Halle Berry as Catwoman.  

It's either frigid in the Batcave or he is VERY happy to see you.

Here are a few of my favorites. Bear in mind, of course, that I'm not limiting the list to main characters. Sometimes, as you'll see, the supporting cast can be just as delightful. 

Alan Cumming as Nightcrawler (X2: X-Men United)

-Capturing both the gentleness and the bad@$$ery of Nightcrawler was no easy feat, but Scotsman Alan Cumming did both with ease. His Nightcrawler was sweet and naïve, but an absolute terror in battle. Although some liberties were taken with his look (the intricate scar designs), the key aspects of his appearance remained intact, as did the character’s strong faith and love of peace. Would Cummings’ presence have been enough to save X-Men: The Last Stand? Doubtful, but it sure would have been nice to see him again, regardless. 

THIS DOESN'T COUNT!!!!

Anthony Hopkins as Odin (Thor)

-I could go on a long spiel about how excellent the casting in Thor was—all of it. Chris Hemsworth was excellent as Thor, Tom Hiddleston was absolutely perfect as Loki (although he was even better in The Avengers), and Idris Elba surprised a lot of people when he proved a black actor could effectively play a Norse god. Really, the only weak casting was Natalie Portman as Jane Foster, and the absolute best was Anthony Hopkins—Hannibal himself, as well as Zorro and even Hitchcock—as the Allfather Odin, he of the bristling beard and the manly eye patch. 

Ummm . . . not him, but close.

Sam Elliott as General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross (Hulk)

-Now, let’s get one thing straight: I like William Hurt a lot. He can play nice (Michael), he can play complicated (The Village), and he can play stone-cold just as easily (Nightmares and Dreamscapes). And if I had only seen The Incredible Hulk (2008), I probably would have liked his version of General Ross a lot more. But I had already seen Hulk (2003), and now, whenever I think of General Ross, I think of Sam Elliott (of Tombstone fame). Hurt’s Ross was a quieter, more calculating Ross; Elliott’s chewed the scenery into a fine paste and spat it back in a rage rivaling that of the Hulk. “If you come within 100 yards of my daughter again, I will lock you away for the rest of your natural life!” Now, that’s intensity! That’s Thunderbolt Ross! That’s a guy who’s just crazy enough to carry on a vendetta against a big, green rage-engine of destruction. 

Or appear in a Nicolas Cage superhero film, for that matter.

Alfred Molina as Doctor Octopus (Spider-Man 2)

-Easily one of the greatest comic book villains to be brought to the big screen, Doctor Octopus required a number of traits. First would be the look. Doc Ock is a big lump of a guy with a round face and a nearly perpetual scowl. Alfred Molina had that and the occasional devious grin, to boot. Second would be the acting chops. Ock’s a sympathetic villain in many ways, and Molina nails that aspect of the character. He also pulls off the “magnificent b@$+@rd” persona, exuding arrogance and ruthlessness (“Butterfingers!”). Plus, Ock’s bat-$#!+ insane. Molina can play crazy, too. Anybody else remember his manic chocolate binge toward the end of Chocolat? 

I can guarantee his stomach still hasn't forgotten. UGH!

Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian (Watchmen)

-To be fair, Jackie Earle Haley was equally superb as Rorschach, but really, despite the striking physical resemblance, it was the gravelly voice that made it work. Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s Comedian, however, was perfect in every single way. Not only did he look like he stepped straight out of the comic book, he absolutely nailed the attitude and the swagger. When he tells Nite-Owl he’s looking at the American dream, he says it with just the right amount of cynicism and despair. 

He might be a disgusting lout of a human being, but DARN, he's bad@$$!

Ron Perlman as Hellboy (Hellboy)

It’s no surprise that director Guillermo del Toro and Hellboy creator Mike Mignola both wanted Ron Perlman for the role of Hellboy. I mean, look at him. He’s massive, and that craggy face and deep voice go perfectly with the character. But more important than the look is the soul of the performance. Perlman’s Hellboy looked absolutely ridiculous; he was covered in red foam rubber and sported a tail, for crying out loud. But literally within minutes, I forgot I was looking at a special effect, because Perlman made me care about the man underneath the effect. Under his horrifying (and horrifyingly silly) exterior was a gentle, insecure guy who just wanted to kick back, eat some “pamcakes” and have a beer. He was the everyman in the body of a demon, and despite the cheesy prosthetics, he was perfect. And then there's this:

What kind of kid picks meeting Hellboy as his "Make a Wish"? An awesome kind.      

Christopher Reeve as Superman (Superman)

As excellent as Henry Cavill’s performance in Man of Steel was, there is one true Superman, and that’s Christopher Reeve. A full 6’4” with broad shoulders and the misfortune of actually looking believable in sky-blue tights, Reeve was the heroic ideal incarnate, taken directly from a Curt Swan/Murphy Anderson cover. And his Clark Kent—nebbish, nerdy and klutzy—was just as dead-on. Although the movies were pretty campy (and only got campier with each successive film), there was nothing silly about Reeve’s Superman. We believed a man could fly, and, more than that, we believed that man was Superman.  

As if there were any doubt.

J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson (Superman)

-No contest here—Simmons' JJJ is the best. What’s funny is that Simmons looks absolutely nothing like Jameson when he’s out of makeup. But he has the attitude in spades. Nobody—nobody—could have played the part better than Simmons, and I’m glad to see his legacy carry on in Ultimate Spider-Man, even if Marc Webb ends up not using him in his films. In character, he looks exactly like the Ditko-era Jameson, from the flattop to the stogie, and he spouts off Jameson-isms at the speed of an accomplished typist hammering out an editorial. “Meat! I’ll send you a nice box of Christmas meat!” Simmons’ portrayal of Jameson is simply a cut above everything else, even Reeve’s Superman, and I hold out hope that we’ll get to see him again someday. 

And then there's this . . .

Post "AvX," is Cyclops more of an Angel than ever?

For better or worse, the biggest comics event of the year was "Avengers vs. X-Men." It was, frankly, everything dedicated comic fans know they are supposed to hate and yet they buy it anyway, simply because they want to see what will happen.

The premise of "AvX" is pretty straightforward. The Phoenix Force is the "Big Bad" of the series, and it's COMING TO EARTH!!!! The Avengers, Earth's Mightiest Heroes, are panicked. They recognize the Phoenix as a potentially planet-destroying threat and are desperate to keep it away. The X-Men, on the other hand, specifically Cyclops' uber-powerful Extinction Team (the most misunderstood of the misunderstood, and also the most dangerous), see the Phoenix as a chance to reignite the mutant gene that was snuffed out by former Avenger (and Extinction Team member Magneto's daughter) the Scarlet Witch. Plus, Cyclops has it on good authority (Cable, his son from the future) that Extinction Team member Hope is destined to host the Phoenix, and Cable typically knows what he's talking about.

The problem starts when Captain America decides to consult Wolverine about how to approach the Phoenix situation. Wolverine has just recently reopened the Xavier Institute (renamed the Jean Grey Institute) after a violent disagreement with Cyclops. There is a lot of bad blood between the two, and Wolverine is all-too-eager to tell Cap how irrational and militant Cyclops is now. It makes sense for Captain America to ask Wolverine for advice, considering Wolverine is doing double-time as headmaster of the Institute and as an Avenger, but he should have known to take it with a grain of salt. Instead, he decides to storm the X-Men's island headquarters and home, Utopia, and take Hope by force. Because, y'know, all they have to do is hide Hope somewhere where an omniscient being of psychic energy can't find her . . . riiiiiiight. Cyclops tells Cap to get off his lawn and this happens:

"AND STAY OUT OF WOOLWORTH'S!"

Now, thanks to Cyke's slammin'-hot telepathic girlfriend Emma Frost, the X-Men knew going into it that Cap wasn't going to take "no" for an answer, so skipping straight to the fisticuffs actually makes sense. The Avengers, however, see the X-Men as the aggressors and begin a full-scale invasion. Meanwhile, a separate team is sent into space in an attempt to stop the Phoenix from reaching Earth in the first place. Thor even throws his hammer at the massive energy-raptor, which is pretty hilarious, actually (did he really think that was going to work?). It doesn't work, so Tony Stark, in his infinite wisdom, creates a device that will absolutely, positively destroy the Phoenix.

That doesn't work, either.

This happens:

Oops.

Yeah, great job, Tony. You and Wolverine could have just gone out drinking instead and this whole thing could have been avoided. But no. Excellent work, sir; now instead of ONE Phoenix host, who was actually meant to have it, we have five. Four of them, by the way, are dealing with some very serious personal demons that make them very bad choices to possess nigh-unlimited power. And then there's Cyclops, who actually handles it pretty well.

The Phoenix Five, as they're called, actually do great things with their power. They feed the hungry, abolish war, help the helpless, punish the guilty--all kinds of good stuff. But to the Avengers (and President Obama, oddly enough), it just doesn't seem kosher. After all, Wolverine tells them at every possible opportunity that Cyclops is a nutjob, and even though Rachel Grey did a pretty darn good job keeping the Phoenix under control, for some reason everyone assumes it's an uncontrollable force. So the Avengers keep antagonizing the Phoenix Five . . . pushing them, treating them like they're any other super-villains, and one by one, each starts to crack. Namor attacks Wakanda, causing unimaginable damage before the Avengers take him out. Colossus breaks stuff. Magik traps various Avengers in a hell dimension. Emma Frost mindwipes anybody who strikes her as particularly deserving of it. And Cyclops does nothing crazy at all, but he's still the one the Avengers (and many of Wolverine's "X-Men" at this point) see as the root of the problem. Professor Charles Xavier himself, too, is particularly disconcerted by Scott Summers' newfound power, and seems convinced that it will lead to no good. So he joins with the coalition of "X-Men" and Avengers and decides to put his former prize student down like a rabid dog.

The story culminates in the "shocking death" of Professor X at the hands of his first X-Man, Cyclops, who then turns into the Dark Phoenix and causes the excrement to hit the fan. Everybody is shocked. Cyclops is now, irrevocably, the villain fore'ermore. Take a look:

Hardcore, Cyke.

From there, Hope and the Scarlet Witch proceed to beat the Phoenix out of Scott and then declare, "No more Phoenix," dispersing the energy to restart the mutant population. So . . . yay. And yes, this is pretty much exactly what Cyclops' plan had been from the get-go, sooooo . . . instead of admitting he was right, the Avengers lock him away for his many "crimes," even fitting him with a ruby-quartz shock-helmet so he can't use his powers. And he deserves it for killing a defenseless Xavier--after all, it's not like Xavier stood any chance against the Phoenix . . . it was like shooting an unarmed man!

But wait . . . wasn't Xavier trying to completely mindwipe Scott? Hadn't he been goading him, prodding him, deriding him up to that point? He even snarls, "Down, boy!" at one point. Plus, Cyclops is under the corrupting influence of a cosmic entity. How is he entirely responsible for his actions? That "Get Out of Jail Free" card worked like a charm for Hal Jordan, so why shouldn't Scott Summers be similarly absolved? Wolverine has killed and killed again with no remorse whatsoever, and yet he's a staple of just about every team in the Marvel universe (if he joins the Fantastic Four, I'm giving up comics . . . but not really). Wanda Maximoff (the Scarlet Witch) nearly rendered mutants extinct, and killed countless mutants whose lives depended on their powers working (mutants who could fly, mutants who could breathe underwater, etc.). And yet she's a starring member of the new Uncanny Avengers series, which merges the Avengers with Wolverine's team of merry mutants.

The sheer commercialism of this comic would make Linus himself kick a beagle. 

The difference between Cyclops and every other character who has ever been put in such a position is that nobody likes Cyclops. Seriously. Many fans don't like him at all due to his straight-laced, conservative, by-the-books persona and even his fellow comic book characters think he's kind of a dick. Adding to the problem is the fact that Cyclops admitted multiple times that although he regrets killing Xavier, he doesn't regret his actions with the Extinction Team or the Phoenix Five because ultimately, his goal was met: more mutants.

The kicker is that even though Cyclops has been vilified (at least for now), even non-Cyclops fans feel that he was in the right throughout "AvX." He was the only member of the Phoenix Five who never flipped his sh!t, and he retained his humanity even to the point of removing Emma Frost's Phoenix powers when she threatened to destroy the earth on a whim (thank you, Kieron Gillen, for writing that excellent issue of Uncanny X-Men). Plus, his reaction when Beast tells him there are indeed new mutants is priceless.

"Get your filthy paws off me, you darn, dirty Beast!"

This whole "estranged son killing his father" motif seems awfully familiar, though. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 ended on pretty much the same note when a possessed Angel (calling himself "Twilight" because . . . ehhhh, why bother) broke Rupert Giles' neck. Does this look familiar?

Actually, Angel's had daddy issues since the 1700s.

This really unnecessary death did have the fortunate side effect of leading to Angel and Faith, which is one of the most enjoyable comics I've read in a while, and certainly the best comic in the Buffy-verse right now.

Angel is almost always penitent about something. He's a character driven by guilt and the hope of redemption. He had issues with his own father and he had issues with Giles (the whole "taking Buffy's virginity, turning evil and killing Giles' girlfriend" thing really lost him some brownie points), but he took that guilt upon his shoulders and he carried it, when he could easily have blamed it all on the demon inside him. And Angel and Faith is all about him redeeming himself in the only way he knows how: trying to resurrect Giles by any means necessary. It's a fool's quest, but Angel's a passionate fool, and passion has a way of making things work.

Passion is also why Angel is in this situation in the first place. Like Cyclops, he embraced the opportunity to take on incredible power in an attempt to make the world a better place, knowing from the start he'd have to make some serious choices and do some questionable things. The power he possessed had to be sacrificed by Buffy just as Hope and the Scarlet Witch sacrificed the Phoenix Force, for better or worse. And while under the influence of that power, he killed a man who was very much a father to him.  

Again, Angel, unlike Cyclops, is a character beloved by most Whedonites and the characters in his universe. This cuts him more slack with fans, but it doesn't make what he did to Giles any less horrifying. In fact, it's worse than what Cyclops did because Giles was not a threat to him. Cyclops acted in self-defense--he overacted, certainly, but his mind was at stake. Nevertheless, although he's playing it cool in his prison setting for the time being, Cyclops is definitely going to take his actions to heart. It's unlikely that he'll be trying to resurrect Xavier anytime soon (the Red Skull having Xavier's brain might be a problem anyway), but Xavier's death will definitely weigh heavily in his mind. And, frankly, it will make him even more fascinating as a hero, just as Giles' death has pushed Angel to new heights and lows alike. Being Cyclops, his outward attitude will likely be, "I don't give a fig--I was right and it all worked out," but that's because he's a lot like Christopher Nolan's version of Batman; he's willing to be seen as the villain if it means accomplishing the greater good. And that's what makes him awesome. 

On the subject of resurrection, if one reads the "AvX" tie-in Uncanny X-Men #18, it is shown that Cyclops very well may have brutally killed and immediately resurrected Beast at one point in the final battle. Sooooo . . . there's a very real chance that, had the Avengers not gone in guns a'blazin' and whatnot, either Xavier would not even have been killed or, alternatively, Cyclops could have resurrected him on the spot. Shoot, Hope could easily have done the same thing, but she didn't. Comic characters are silly, I'm afraid.

My favorite comic book films (so far)

Right now it's just a list, but one I fully intend to flesh out over the next week or so.

10: Superman 2
"Kneel before Zod!" Seriously, how much more epic can it get? Although Jack O'Halloran's monstrous portrayal of Non (whose beard was unparalleled up until the NBA days of one Vlade Divac) will always be my favorite, all three Kryptonian creep-os beating the stuffing out of Superman made for an awesome film, indeed. Although Superman finally gettin' it on with Margot Kidder was . . . unsettling.

9: Hellboy
Guillermo del Toro had already proved his comic book film directing chops with Blade II (which was ever so much better than the other installments of the series). Hellboy, however, really let him go nuts with the prosthetics and the visual gags and the strangely steampunk reality he builds around his foam-rubber protagonist. On that note, Ron Perlman is deserving of particular praise because he is able to build such a likable, relatable human connection between Hellboy and the audience. As goofy as he looks, it's so easy to get caught up in his story that his appearance makes no difference. Hellboy 2: The Golden Army is also an excellent (and very, very strange) film, but the first one set the bar really high. Also of note is Jeffrey Tambor, who goes from the hatable heavy to the very, very cool ally.

8: Daredevil 
The Director's Cut is better by a long shot because it eliminates some of the goofier elements and adds more action, but I honestly liked this movie a lot to begin with. Affleck is surprisingly believable as Matt Murdock, but it's the villains that shine in this one. Colin Farrell trades in his usual distant, troubled persona for a manic, snarling turn as Bullseye (brilliant casting), and Michael Clarke Duncan absolutely nails the character of Wilson Fisk, the Kingpin of Crime. The first time you see him, standing proudly and coolly in the window of Fisk Tower, you know this guy means business and revels in his magnificent evil. Also, this is the film that introduced a lot of us to the glorious sound of Evanescence.

7: Iron Man
I loved Captain America, Thor and even Hulk (the Ang Lee, Eric Bana one, darn it! Not the one where Ed Norton looked like he wanted to go take a nap in his trailer rather than be on set), but of the past few years of Marvel's non-mutant, non-Spidey films, this is the one that ushered in the Avengers Initiative, and it is a thrill ride. Not only is Iron Man the ultimate symbol of Robert Downey, Jr.'s redemption as an actor and as a man, it brought humor back to superhero films without resorting to cartoonish buffoonery. Plus, look at Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane/Iron Monger. When you first see him cruising around innocently on his Segway scooter, your first thought is, "Oh, it's just Obie, the supportive dork." Because that's what Jeff Bridges was typecast--he was never the villain. But for those who mulled over the sound of his name (OBADIAH STANE!!), even those who hadn't read the comics, it became clear that when this guy showed his true colors it would be explosive. And it was. That was a villain--the one you didn't see coming until it was too late.

6: Mystery Men
"Und a diet Pepsi with a little bit of ice." Oh, Casanova Frankenstein, you devil! This is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen, thanks in no small part to the ensemble comedic cast consisting of Ben Stiller, Hank Azaria, William H. Macy, Janeane Garofalo, Kel Mitchell, Wes Studi, Pee-W--er--Paul Reubens, Eddie Izzard and, oh yes, Geoffrey Rush. And Michael Bay, oddly enough. Not the most accurate adaptation of a comic, to be sure (where the heck is the Flaming Carrot?), but it has heart, and that's what puts it on my list. That, and, "We've got a blind date with destiny, and it looks like she's ordered the lobster!"

5: Batman Forever
How? How could I put this squealing, brightly-colored monstrosity on my list and leave out the Dark Knight trilogy? Simple. This one was the most fun, and, frankly, the best portrayal of Batman. First off, this is probably the only movie in which Batman doesn't straight-up tell the girl he's Bruce Wayne. That takes a lot of self-control for the old horndog, who freaking sleeps with Talia al Ghul in The Dark Knight Rises. Val Kilmer, while not the perfect Batman, is the best we've seen so far, in my opinion. He has the big, strong build that Keaton lacked, the naturally deep Batman voice that Bale lacked and the self-respect Clooney lacked. Plus, the camaraderie between Tommy Lee Jones' Two-Face and Jim Carrey's Riddler is screen dynamite. Their jewel heist and "Battleship" match are absolutely delightful, and the film has a dark tone (Riddler's humor is offset by his very chilling obsession with Bruce Wayne) without taking itself too seriously. The only weak casting is Chris O'Donnell as Robin (dare I say Christian Bale would have been better?) and Nicole Kidman as Dr. Chase Meridian, the love interest. The older, smirking, earring-sporting Robin was annoying at times, and Kidman tried too hard to be vampish. Other than that, though, Batman Forever will "forever" (haw-haw) be my favorite screen portrayal of the Dark Knight.

4: Spider-Man 2
"Oops! Butterfingers!" Only Alfred Molina could have pulled off Doc Ock so perfectly. The build, the hair, the attitude . . . perfect. Tobey Maguire stepped up his game as Spider-Man, too, shedding some of the blandness and inserting more humor into his performance ("You threw away my comic books?"). And of course, more J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson--the best casting decision ever. This is the film in which Peter Parker really examines the consequences of being Spider-Man, most notably the loss of Mary Jane from his life as she finds his emotional distance to be too much to deal with. And again . . . Doctor Octopus!!!!

3: X2: X-Men United
The opening scene wherein Nightcrawler attempts to assassinate the president is creepy as heck, which is what makes his ultimate characterization as a meek, sweet-natured hero all the more enjoyable. Plus, Brian Cox is very, very hatable as the conniving General Stryker, a villain so sinister the Brotherhood must team with the X-Men to take him out. Seeing a controlled Cyclops take on the burgeoning Phoenix also kicked mega butt, and we also got to see both the milder and wilder sides of Wolverine. This movie expanded on an excellent foundation in the first X-Men and proceeded to best it in every way. The only complaint I have is that we didn't get to see a fight between Nightcrawler and Toad, who was no doubt nursing his blistered tongue somewhere.

2: Watchmen (The Ultimate Cut, preferably)
Settle down, irate fanboys and moviegoers. I know what you're thinking, how could this cult film beat out Nolan's entire Dark Knight trilogy as well as all three Spider-Man films AND Iron Man. Well . . . I really liked it. Zack Snyder paid enormous respects to the source material (lack of "alien" squid notwithstanding), directed a spot-on cast (although Matthew Goode's Ozymandias is a bit too easy to peg as the villain early on) and had arguably the most eclectic and wonderful soundtrack of all time (Simon and Garfunkel, Leonard Cohen, Nat King Cole and K.C. and the Sunshine Band all have excellent moments to shine). The script, by the way, is extraordinary in its reverence to the original Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons graphic novel, and is carried out to perfection by its actors. Jackie Earle Haley is Rorschach in the film, and even though the audience doesn't see his face for most of it, he conveys such raw emotion in his performance, and succeeds where Christian Bale failed miserably with the gravelly voice. Patrick Wilson's portrayal of Nite-Owl II is simultaneously pathetic and awe-inspiring. And Jeffrey Dean Morgan perfectly captures the senselessness and sensitivity of the Comedian.

1: The Avengers 
Part of me wonders if this choice is premature, if this pristine rose of comic book swashbucklery will lose some of its luster as time and small-screen, non-HD televisions take their toll and the novelty effect will wear off. But I've seen this movie three times, in 2 and 3-D, and I love it more with each viewing. It may not have been deeply psychological like Nolan's Bat-films, but it hit all the right emotional chords nevertheless. And it was fun.
That's the main thing--it was an exhilarating film that took a good 15 minutes to really get rolling, but once it did there was never a dull moment. Joss Whedon is to be commended for maintaining such a delightful pace of action, thrills and humor, along with the ever-difficult human connection.
The Avengers is one of those films that, statistically speaking, should not have happened (at least not successfully), but it is everything a superhero film should be and more. Plus . . . shawarma.



THE BEST OF THE REST

The Road to Perdition is the one I really wanted to add to the list. It has some of the finest actors of all time (Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, Daniel Craig, Stanley Tucci and even the wonderful character actor Dylan Baker), and they give it everything they've got. Also Thor, Iron Man 2 and Captain America (but not The Incredible Hulk), because they set the stage for The Avengers. The first X-Men was also a winner, thanks in no small part to the script by Solid Snake himself, David Hayter. V for Vendetta, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World are also winners. And of course, the truly grand Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and The Dark Knight Rises. They're excellent films, and the final installation was one of the best films I've seen this year, but they're not my favorites of all time. But, for the absolute darkest take on Batman, look no further than Tim Burton's Batman and Batman Returns. Nicholson's Joker, while not as "chaotic" as Ledger's, was ultimately scarier in his giddiness, and Returns had the absolute creepiest versions of the Penguin and Catwoman ever conceived.